Some days are just harder than others

Yesterday was a blue dot day. Barely. I went over my points by 5 and got further into the weeklies. And I knew as I ate the UTZ pretzels I was undoing all my willpower. Grr. I hate that I do it but it is so much a routine to snack when I get home. Today I am going to be stronger than that pull of snacking.
Faith: Turning your life over to God or another higher power
This is a tough one because I'm A-OK with a higher power being my guide but I'm a firm believer in free will. I take responsibility for my choices, like the UTZ pretzels, and I can't blame anyone but myself. Now, if it means that the high power is a means to tranquility without a brownie, then I can work with that. Since it is a matter of interpretation, then I'm going with tranquility instead of food as my goal.
So work is a subject I rarely touch on because it really isn't mine anymore. I retired Sept 1 and am working until the end of June, at the very latest. I threw out the option of semi-retired and that option was embraced at first and now dead silence, like they really don't want me. Being fat messes with the response to other people's actions, and I know that. So I asked a friend how they'd read the situation and he said that would be how he reads it too. So starting early January, I am going to look for a stay at home part time job. I'm a good database manager but do I want to do that? My perfect world is that I could get me longarm quilting business off the ground. I'm just lost on how to do that. I don't know how to price my work and how to get clients. Any ideas??? Me neither.
Speaking of longarm work, I created a cool design for a Christmas panel.

I love how it turned out. I first tried (3X) to stitch it on my embroidery machine but it is too big and required 16 rehoops. So DH suggested using the longarm (it is computerized) and I LOVE it! I'm thinking I could do some birthday, Valentine, Halloween, Thanksgiving, 4th of July and put them on Etsy. I think I need to do this, not just wish for it.

There is a part of me that wonders if my work life stopped bugging me so much that I'd stop reach for comforting chocolate. Goals for first quarter of 2020 is to put my resume out on some flex job sites, put an ad in the Pacific NW quilter newpaper and set up an Etsy store. The goal of self honest MUST continue into 2020 because I am liking myself more, even when I overeat because I'm acknowledging that I made a choice.